Art Blog 1 by Hanna, February 28, 2021

I have decided to start writing this blog in order to document in writing my experience of being an artist in the world. By in the world, I mean that I want to also find loving homes for my art, besides making it. This writing project, I decided, will be part of my art. It will be a tale of my journey to try and find the impossible path for me to share my art easily, in a meaningful way that is uniquely suited to the individual human being  I am. So, this writing is the same as my process of painting: a journey into the unknown.

Making art comes easily to me. I feel confident and free, and I trust myself and my art. I believe that my art is meaningful, honest, authentic, and worth sharing. But sharing the art, for me, is complicated, difficult, and full of mind-fuck and blockages. My father said to me and my sister about being an artist: “If you don’t make it, don’t even try!” I live to refute his statement, and also, to honor his failed dream of living the life of an artist. He gave up when the world didn’t respond positively to his offerings of paintings and novels. He was one in a crowd and not good enough to others. So am I. One of a crowd. Too many artists want recognition in this world, and only a few can “make it”. But wait, what does it mean, not to make it? So many factors go into making it, not just being good. Some artists who make awful art, make it big. And some great artists never made it during their life time, or ever! So, this is not a good argument!

There are of course the tried and proven ways to make it in the art world. And I don’t trust that this is my venue in which to share my art. I have the intuitive knowing (or is it a belief?) that I will not be seen, nor valued or appreciated because I don’t fit into the current trends in art. Artists are told to create art in a recognizable style and stick with it. That’s not me! I’m all over the place! In group exhibits, I should enter paintings that I believe people will like. But that’s not me! I am stubborn and impossible in this respect. I should have a marketing person help me promote my art. But the person would have to know me well, be compatible, and find exactly the markets I belong in, where people will see me and my art. In the general public, I believe my art will mostly be invisible because it doesn’t fit in, or is seen as ‘not good enough’.

So, let’s just start by naming all the reasons I tell myself why I can’t be an artist in the world and should just keep filling my storage room to the ceiling with my work. (I feel constipated when I think of that). Here we go:

1. Selling art is too work-intense. I have to pack and ship the art and deal with billing etc. This takes away time from making art.

2. People in the art world don’t think my art is skilled and meaningful enough to be considered.

3. Having 99.9% of people in the world walk right past my art without looking at it, if it is in a group exhibit, is disappointing.

4. I want my art to find loving homes where people are inspired and nurtured by it, instead of it being ignored, rejected, and put in dusty backrooms of galleries, as has happened to me.

5. I believe in my art and care about it, so I want it to be put in front of people who will value and appreciate it.

6. I am too attached to my best paintings and can’t let go of them.

7. I am possessive and controlling of my art. I want to know who gets my art, and I want there to be a personal connection, instead of just an anonymous business transaction and sale.

8. I am afraid of rejection.

9. I want to be in control of my art. I don’t want someone to help me sell my art.

10. When thinking of being an artist in the world I am confronted with my social fears and my old stories that I will be destroyed if I allow myself to be seen, and that I will anyway not be seen.

Now, here are the reasons why I want to be an artist who completes the circle by sharing the art with others:

1. I love it when others want my art and I enjoy it when it nurtures their spirit! This alone is reason enough to share my art.

2. I love sharing my art with friends, at gatherings. Usually, the pieces go like hot cakes and people love them! I love giving away or selling my art to those who love it! This makes me very happy! It’s like giving a kitten or child into adoption. It has to be just right!

3. I need space to make new art. It feels overwhelming to have all my art in storage.

4. I need to get out of my way and share my art, despite all my complicated considerations.

5. I need to let go of making this a problem. Just don’t worry. Let things evolve organically.

6. I choose to find my own, unique way of sharing my art.

7. I want to do it anyway, even though I don’t know how to do it!

8. I want to move into the unknown with this blog, and allow myself to do one step at a time.

9. I accept my challenging process of finding a way to  let  the right people know about my art.

10. I trust my process and I will no longer be stopped by my mind.

11. I choose my vision that my art finds loving homes with people who are nurtured  and benefited by having my art on their walls.

12. I commit to walking this impossible, unknown path!

All my blogs will be here in my worldwide gallery, www.hannahammerli.zenfolio.com. While you’re here, check out my new art in the album ‘New 2019-2021! And please share this blog and my gallery link with others!

That’s enough for today! Please email me to let me know if you want to be on my list to receive future art blogs I write. In the next one, I will reflect on why I make art.